I wish this boy would forget everything & be in love with me.
I like talking to myself…
January…
Will always be a hard month for me.
I’m always losing the people the people I love…
Some pass away & some leave because they want to.
I just wish I could find someone who would stay…
It’s been forever…
… since I’ve posted something on this. All my previous posts are pretty depressing (if anyone has ever read them). Since my depressing posts… I’ve gotten a pretty serious boyfriend (I got the most beautiful promise ring from him), I’ve got promotted a bunch, and that’s about it. haha. But I just wanted to write down how much I miss the feelings of butterflies. It’s so weird. I think I’m addicted to them. I didn’t even realize this until last night when I felt them…
I haven’t felt them since my boyfriend and I started dating. He would tell me all of these beautiful things that no one else had ever told me. But I hardly hear them anymore.
All day long I’ve been searching for these butterflies that I felt last night… I’ve been trying to get a hold of my boyfriend all week (he’s in California taking care of his mom) and he hasn’t even tried to call but maybe once or twice… This makes me feel pretty shitty. I have people talk to me more than he does… It just sucks to feel like I don’t matter as much as I used to…
I just keep wondering if I will I ever feel these butterflies again? or will I have to search somewhere else for them?
What I do when no one’s home…
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
16574.) I’m scared that I’ll never be able to let go.
Not that I’ll never be able to move on. But that I’ll meet someone and still never have the feeling that you gave me. Knowing that I’ll never have you. Never. I would never have the same sensational feeling. And the worst part: You’re not even in my life anymore. That’s what hurts the most.
